When Our Thoughts Deceive Us: How Cognitive Distortions Create Psychological Distress Dr. Mustafa Al-Gharawi CBT Specialist

Introduction

Thoughts are an essential part of our daily lives. We constantly think about ourselves, other people, the situations we experience, and the future. However, the problem is not always the thought itself, but rather the way we interpret events and respond to them.

A person may go through a simple situation but give it a negative interpretation. This interpretation then begins to affect their emotions and behavior. For example, someone may take a long time to reply to a message, and the person may think, "They are ignoring me." This may lead to feelings of anxiety or anger and may even cause the person to act based on this belief despite having no clear evidence to support it.

This is where understanding cognitive distortions becomes important.

What Are Cognitive Distortions?

Cognitive distortions are inaccurate patterns of thinking that cause a person to interpret events in an unrealistic or exaggerated way.

These thoughts are often automatic and occur quickly. A person may believe them without stopping to ask themselves: Is this thought actually true?

Some of the most common cognitive distortions include:

Black-and-White Thinking

A person sees things in extreme terms. They may believe they are either completely successful or completely unsuccessful, or that a relationship is either completely good or completely bad.

Overgeneralization

A single negative event occurs, and the person generalizes it to their entire life.

They may fail at one particular experience and say, "I always fail."

Or they may experience betrayal from one person and say, "No one can be trusted."

Mind Reading

A person assumes that they know what other people are thinking without having clear evidence.

Someone may notice that another person is not talking to them and immediately think, "They do not respect me."

But the truth is that they do not know the actual reason behind the other person's behavior.

Fortune Telling

A person predicts a negative outcome and treats it as though it were a certain fact.

They may say, "I will fail," "Something bad will happen," or "I will not be able to handle what happens."

But the future has not happened yet, so a prediction cannot be treated as a fact.

Magnifying Problems

A person gives a problem a much greater size or importance than it actually has.

They may face an upsetting situation and begin thinking, "Everything is over," or "I will never be able to get through this."

In this case, the problem is not only the event itself, but also the way the person perceives the event.

Discounting the Positive

A person focuses on mistakes and negative experiences while ignoring their achievements and positive experiences.

They may succeed in several areas but remember one mistake and say, "I am not successful at anything."

Personalization

A person interprets certain events as being directly related to them, even when there is no evidence to support this assumption.

For example, someone close to them may have a change in mood, and they immediately assume that they are the reason.

Why Do We Believe Distorted Thoughts?

One reason is that when a thought is repeated, it becomes familiar to the mind, and what is familiar can begin to feel true.

Past experiences can also influence the way we interpret current situations.

A person who has experienced betrayal may become more sensitive to certain behaviors and may interpret an ordinary action as evidence of betrayal.

However, having experienced something painful in the past does not mean that the same experience will happen again in the present.

It is important to distinguish between what happened in the past and what is happening now.

A Thought Is Not a Fact

One of the most important psychological skills a person can develop is learning to distinguish between a thought and a fact.

The presence of a thought in your mind does not mean that it is true.

You may think that someone hates you, but thinking this does not mean that they actually hate you.

You may feel that you will not be able to deal with a problem, but this feeling does not mean that you are actually incapable of dealing with it.

You may feel afraid of the future, but fear does not tell you what will actually happen.

Therefore, when a distressing thought appears, ask yourself:

What evidence supports this thought?

What evidence contradicts it?

Is there another possible explanation for the situation?

Am I exaggerating my interpretation of what happened?

Am I treating a possibility as though it were a fact?

Am I judging myself based on a single situation?

These questions help a person move from automatic thinking toward more balanced thinking.

The Relationship Between Thoughts, Emotions, and Behavior

There is a strong relationship between what we think, what we feel, and how we behave.

When a person believes that other people reject them, they may feel sad or anxious and then begin withdrawing from others.

After some time, they may feel lonely and interpret that loneliness as evidence that other people do not want them.

In this way, a repeated cycle can develop:

A distorted thought
Then a negative emotion
Then a behavior resulting from that emotion
Then an outcome that reinforces the original thought

Therefore, changing the way we think can help break this cycle.

Do Not Try to Get Rid of the Thought by Force

A common mistake is trying to prevent unwanted thoughts or forcing ourselves not to think about them.

The more a person tells themselves, "I do not want to think about this," the more the thought may return repeatedly.

A better approach is to respond to the thought differently.

Tell yourself:

"This is just a thought that appeared in my mind. It is not a confirmed fact."

Then examine the evidence and look for a more realistic interpretation.

Balanced Thinking

Balanced thinking does not mean forcing ourselves to think positively all the time.

The goal is not to say:

"Everything is wonderful."

when the reality is difficult.

Instead, the goal is to see the situation as it really is.

You can say:

"This situation is difficult, but I can deal with it."

"I made a mistake in this situation, but that does not mean I am a failure."

"One person may reject me, but that does not mean everyone rejects me."

"Something may happen that I do not want, but I will deal with it if and when it happens."

This is balanced thinking.

It neither exaggerates the problem nor denies it.

The Role of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy helps a person understand the relationship between their thoughts, emotions, and behavior.

Through CBT, a person learns to identify automatic thoughts, recognize the cognitive distortions within them, examine those thoughts, and then reframe them in a more realistic way.

The goal is not to eliminate all negative thoughts, because that is not realistic.

The goal is to learn how to deal with these thoughts without automatically believing them and without allowing them to control one's life.

Conclusion

Not everything the mind tells us is a fact, and not everything we feel is evidence of reality.

Some thoughts may result from fear, past experiences, overgeneralization, or inaccurate interpretations of events.

When we learn to observe and examine these thoughts, we become more capable of understanding ourselves, managing our emotions, and making more balanced decisions.

You do not always need to change reality in order to feel differently.

Sometimes, you simply need to learn how to look at reality more accurately.

Always ask yourself:

Is what I am thinking a fact?

Or is it simply an interpretation that needs evidence?